Motherhood as a double-edged sword: A phenomenological exploration into the lived experiences of incarcerated pregnant women

Background: The global number of women in prison has increased in recent years. Some of these incarcerated women experience pregnancy. Pregnancy in prison has a great impact on the experience of mothers and can affect women’s role in motherhood. This study aimed to understand the meaning of motherhood in pregnant prisoners. Methods The present qualitative research was carried out using a descriptive-interpretive phenomenology via interviews with 11 pregnant or early postpartum women in prison. The participants were purposefully selected from incarcerated pregnant women in 2020 in Iran. Six-step Van Manen’s phenomenological approach was used for data analysis. Results The main theme of “motherhood, as a double-edged sword"emerged from the analysis, which consisted of two sub-themes, including “Moving in a circle between togetherness and separation” and “Being subject to ambiguous and illusory thoughts”. Based on the findings, motherhood in prison is just like living in a world, which is shaky and chaotic, and mothers are confused between reaching to and separation from the child. Furthermore, they experience the anxiety and worries of motherhood, and cannot be confident regarding the future of themselves and their children. Conclusion The experience of motherhood in prison for women was like a double-edged sword; on the one hand, they were fully immersed in motherhood feelings and emotions, which enhanced mother’s tolerance in prison, and on the other hand, the presence of child caused the aggravation of stress and anxiety.