A Qualitative Investigation of Adolescents’ Perceptions of Sharing Guilt Memories with Their Parents

A Qualitative Investigation of Adolescents’ Perceptions of Sharing Guilt Memories with Their Parents | Research Square window.SnipcartSettings = { analytics: { enabled: false } }; (function() { var accessVector = localStorage.getItem('access_vector') || ''; window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; if (accessVector) { window.dataLayer.push({ user: { profile: { profileInfo: { snid: accessVector } } } }); } })(); (function(w,d,s,l,i){w[l]=w[l]||[];w[l].push({'gtm.start':new Date().getTime(),event:'gtm.js'});var f=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],j=d.createElement(s),dl=l!='dataLayer'?'&l='+l:'';j.async=true;j.src='https://www.googletagmanager.com/gtm.js?id='+i+dl;f.parentNode.insertBefore(j,f);})(window,document,'script','dataLayer','GTM-K279D39R'); Browse Preprints In Review Journals COVID-19 Preprints AJE Video Bytes Research Tools Research Promotion AJE Professional Editing AJE Rubriq About Preprint Platform In Review Editorial Policies Our Team Advisory Board Help Center Sign In Submit a Preprint Cite Share Download PDF Research Article A Qualitative Investigation of Adolescents’ Perceptions of Sharing Guilt Memories with Their Parents Dr. Sarah Zaneti, Prof. Dr. Inci Boyacioglu This is a preprint; it has not been peer reviewed by a journal. https://doi.org/ 10.21203/rs.3.rs-9146933/v1 This work is licensed under a CC BY 4.0 License Status: Under Review Version 1 posted 6 You are reading this latest preprint version Abstract This paper aimed to fill a gap in the literature on autobiographical memory-sharing and family narrative. It explores the functions of memory-sharing and the perceived characteristics of preferred/unpreferred listeners. The study designated parents as listeners and children as narrators, focusing on sharing negative memories of guilt. The method involved semi-structured interviews, analyzed using Braun and Clarke’s thematic analysis, with 11 Turkish male and female participants. Regardless of parents’ gender, participants identified directive and emotion regulation as the primary functions of memory sharing. When adolescents selected their mothers as preferred listeners, the characteristics of availability and empathy were mainly reported. In contrast, fathers were preferred as listeners for their good listening skills and logical advice. Fathers may be less preferred as listeners, mainly due to their unavailability and a tendency towards harsh criticism. Meanwhile, mothers were deemed unpreferred listeners due to poor listening skills and a tendency towards dramatization. autobiographical memory-sharing functions perceived listener characteristics memories of guilt perpetrator Turkish parents Turkish adolescents Introduction Narrating experiences from one's life is ubiquitous in human existence, with individuals often engaging in reminiscence when alone or sharing these narratives with others (Bruner, 1991 ). Storytelling, especially within familial settings, has been a significant focus of the developmental psychology approach (e.g., Bakir-Demir, Reese & Sahin Acar, 2020; Fivush & Nelson, 2004 ; Reese & Fivush, 1993 ; Sahin-Acar, Leichtman, 2015 ; Wang, 2004 ). For instance, it has been demonstrated that family gatherings, such as dinner times, are frequent occasions for exchanging daily experiences or family memories, happening as often as every five minutes (Bohanek et al., 2009 ). Research has proven that autobiographical memories of emotionally negative experiences strongly mark people's autobiographical narratives (e.g., McAdams, 2011 ), with a bias observed towards reflecting upon negative over positive events (Taylor, 1991 ). Furthermore, it is assumed that negative memories tend to be more accurately retained in people's lives (Levine & Pizarro, 2004 ) and are recalled or shared to enhance individuals' survival (Taylor, 1991 ). Despite the evident emphasis placed on emotionally negative memories within personal recollections, the literature predominantly focuses on positive memories (Walker, Skowronski, & Thompson, 2003 ). The scarcity of studies on negative memories becomes more apparent when examining the literature on the dynamics between perpetrators and victims in these negative experiences. Divergent viewpoints exist within this field. While early research posited that perpetrators tend to have a stronger recollection of negative experiences compared to victims (e.g., Sichrovsky, 1988 ; Baumeister et al., 1990 ), a more recent study suggests that victims reported higher recall of negative episodes compared to the memories retained by perpetrators of the same incidents (Helion, Helzer, Kim & Pizarro, 2021). Exploring the role of negative memories in constructing personal narratives, McAdams ( 2011 ) posits that individuals frequently recount negative events to engage in reflective self and place themselves within a moral context. This process is crucial for understanding one's identity as a moral entity, aligning with the notion that life narratives serve essential self-functions for moral self-conception (Strohminger & Nichols, 2014 ). Besides the self-function, research within the autobiographical memory field reveals that these memories generally fulfil social and directive functions (Bluck & Alea, 2002 ; Cohen, 1998 ; Hyman & Faries, 1992 ; Pillemer, 1992 ). The self-function involves recollecting personal events to confirm one's identity over time or to adjust the self (Conway, 2005 ). The social function is essential for creating, maintaining, and deepening social connections, as well as triggering empathy (Alea & Bluck, 2003 ; Pillemer, 1998 ). Lastly, the directive function of autobiographical memory enables the use of past experiences to navigate present challenges (Bluck & Alea, 2002 ) and to influence future decisions and directions (Baddeley, 1988 ; Pillemer, 1998 ). In addition to these well-established memory functions, autobiographical memories have been indicated to fulfil additional roles, such as emotion regulation (e.g., Kulkofsky et al., 2010 ; Pasupathi, 2003 ), particularly concerning emotionally charged life memories. Various scholars have posited that the emotional significance of memories influences their function (e.g., Rasmussen & Berntsen, 2009 ). In summary, despite the lack of literature research focusing on the functions of memory-sharing for specific negative experiences, such as memories of guilt, evidence remains relatively persistent regarding the functions of negative memory-sharing. The past studies indicate that the sharing of negative experiences by narrators, irrespective of their positions as perpetrators or victims, is relevant to both directive functions (Pillemer, 2003 ; Rasmussen et al., 2009) and emotional regulation functions (Pasupathi, 2003 ). These functions illustrate the significance of the purposes behind sharing memories (Bruce, 1989 ), accentuating the necessity of examining the use of autobiographical memory in daily life beyond its mechanisms. Indeed, an integrative framework is essential for examining the patterns of autobiographical memory sharing, particularly in the context of emotionally charged life events. It requires a thorough analysis of the entire conversational context where an individual opts to share a memory with a specific listener. Though there is an apparent propensity among individuals to recount their most emotionally charged autobiographical events, it becomes clear that not every experience is shared with others (Nils & Rimé, 2012 ). The anticipated reaction from potential listeners plays a significant role in the decision to withhold specific life experiences from being shared (Pasupathi et al., 2015). There is a preference among individuals to share their stories with those whom they believe will offer support and show engagement (Hoyt, Renshaw, & Pasupathi, 2013 ). Research has robustly demonstrated that the nature of what is narrated is influenced significantly by the narrator's perception of the listener's need and preparedness for the information (Grice, 1989). Adjustments in storytelling also depend on the expected responses from listeners, with a notable adaptation occurring due to gendered expectations of emotional expressiveness (e.g., Grysman, 2020 ; Grysman & Denney, 2017 ). For instance, studies have observed that men tend to offer more detailed narratives to female listeners compared to male listeners, whereas women are more likely to include emotional elements when speaking to other women than to men (Grysman & Denney, 2017 ). Additionally, there is a tendency for narrators to withhold emotional depth and details in the presence of listeners perceived as disinterested or distracted (Pasupathi & Billitteri, 2015 ). Pasupathi and Billitteri ( 2015 ) further argued the necessity of an engaged and cooperative listener for the narrator to share emotional memories. Over two decades, the literature supports the significant effect of listener characteristics on the narrative context, indicating that empathetic, engaged, and attentive listeners positively influence both the narrative process and the narrator's subsequent self-perceptions and well-being (e.g., Paupathi et al., 2015). Variation in listener characteristics can lead to differing outcomes for the narrator, ranging from emotional recovery and reduced distress to enhanced social integration for positive engagements, as opposed to neutral responses that fail to offer such benefits (Nils & Rimé, 2012 ). Literature on listener characteristics in narrative contexts reveals some inconsistency in the descriptive terms used across studies and even within a single author's body of work (Zaneti & Boyacioglu, under review). Despite the variability in describing listener characteristics, the research converges on identifying characteristics that positively or negatively influence the narrative-sharing process, including characteristics of good listeners like attentiveness, empathy, and interest versus negative traits like distraction and indifference. In summary, research in autobiographical memory sharing indicates that individuals selectively choose a listener to share their most emotionally charged life events. However, an apparent gap in literature exists, as no studies have yet explored the perceived characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners from the narrator's perspective. More specifically, there is an absence of research on how individuals perceive the listening characteristics of others when narrating memories of guilt in which they perceive themselves as the perpetrator. Notably, the literature does not address how, regardless of their age, children perceive the listening characteristics of their parents, distinguishing between mothers and fathers, in the context of sharing autobiographical memories. This gap may stem from a poor conceptualization of the interaction between parents and children in narrative exchange. There is a prevailing oversight in not recognizing parents as potential listeners, rather than merely co-narrators or scaffolders, and in overlooking children as active narrators in autobiographical memory sharing research (Zaneti & Boyacioglu, under review). Furthermore, there is a recognized need for further exploration into how listening characteristics are perceived in daily sharing experiences, which presents a significant area for research inquiry. Conducting research in such specific contexts of memory-sharing, particularly concerning daily life situations, poses challenges for quantitative methodologies due to the need for extensive data for generalization. Thus, qualitative approaches are more suitable for these investigations (Pasupathi et al., 2015). Objectives of the present study The current study aims to investigate the practice of sharing specific autobiographical memories within the family context. It focuses on Turkish adolescent children who share memories of guilt with their parents, where they are the perpetrators rather than the victims. This research explores participants' perceptions of their parents' listening characteristics and the functions these shared memories serve. This study is particularly interested in the dynamics influencing the choice of one parent over another as a listener and the reasons behind an individual's reluctance to share with particular listeners, specifically when the listeners in question are the parents and the narrators are their adolescent children. Furthermore, it seeks to identify the perceived characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners from adolescents' perspectives and understand why they decided to share or withhold memories of guilt from these specific listeners, namely mothers and fathers. A critical part of this investigation involves exploring the perceived functions of memory-sharing with a chosen listener. It elucidates the distinctions between mothers and fathers in their roles as listeners in their children's perceptions. Examining the participants' perceived functions of memory-sharing may shed light on the rationale behind their preference for one parent as a listener over the other. Method Given the specific nature of the variables under examination, the methodology adopted for the present study is inherently exploratory and qualitative. The main interviews with participants took place throughout July and August 2024. The participants’ group comprised 11 Turkish adolescents, including five male and six female students, whose ages ranged from 19 to 22 years (see Table 1 ). These participants were recruited through telephone correspondence and agreed to participate in the study after being comprehensively informed about the content and procedures involved, providing informed consent. The data collection method employed semi-structured interviews facilitated via Google Meet, which allowed for a predominantly open-ended question format. While the initial inquiries aimed to elicit specific memories to serve as a foundation, participants were encouraged to expand upon their narratives. Probing questions were used to delve further into the details. Each interview had an approximate duration of 20 minutes per participant. Recruitment was achieved through convenience sampling. The call for participants was circulated within the authors' networks and further propagated, resulting in the involvement of students from Dokuz Eylül University in İzmir, all residing in dormitories close to the university premises. The volunteers expressed no reservations about participating, particularly once reassured about the anonymity of the research and its principal objectives. The analytical approach combines deductive and inductive reasoning, facilitating a dual-method thematic and interpretative phenomenological analysis. This approach aimed to elucidate both the perceived characteristics of preferred and unpreferred listeners and the perceived functions of sharing specific autobiographical memories associated with negative experiences in which the participants assumed themselves as the perpetrators with a particular parent. After a reiterating the study's primary goals and assuring participants of anonymity to affirm consent, participants were asked about demographics such as age, gender, and level of education. The interviews commenced with prompts for participants to recall and briefly narrate a memory of guilt in which they perceived themselves as perpetrators rather than victims and to identify the parents with whom they typically shared memories of guilt. Subsequent open-ended questions aimed to investigate the perceived functions of sharing these memories (see Table 1 ) and the characteristics of both the preferred and unpreferred listeners. The researchers transcribed all interviews into written form, meticulously reviewed them, and coded them under mutual consent based on the related literature. The concordance of the researchers' analyses fostered a comprehensive thematic analysis and classification of the perceived functions of memory sharing and the perceived listening characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners. The data were fully transcribed and rigorously analyzed following Braun and Clarke’s six-phase thematic analysis framework. Indeed, the present study employed Braun and Clarke’s (2006) thematic analysis due to its methodological flexibility and theoretical adaptability. This approach is well-suited for exploring subjective experiences and meaning-making processes, particularly within social and psychological contexts. Thematic analysis enables systematic identification, analysis, and interpretation of patterns within qualitative data, while allowing researchers to work within diverse epistemological frameworks. Its structured six-phase process offers a clear and rigorous guide. Moreover, its effectiveness has been supported in prior psychological research addressing autobiographical narratives (e.g., Ascienzo et al., 2022), making it particularly suitable for the current investigation. Interview Questions In exploring memories of guilt, the following inquiries were formulated to facilitate a nuanced understanding of family communication dynamics, particularly memory sharing in Turkish parents-adolescent children dyads. These questions aim to delve into the participants' processes of sharing these experiences with their parents, the selection of the parent confided in, and the expectations from these confessional interactions. 1. Could you reflect on a recent negative experience in the school environment where you found yourself in the role of the perpetrator—where your actions, attitudes, words, or irresponsibility negatively impacted others, and you later shared this experience with one of your parents? 2. Can you briefly describe this experience? 3. To which parent did you choose to disclose this experience? Could you explain why you chose this parent over the other? 4. Is there a pattern in your preference for sharing these memories of guilt, particularly those where you perceive yourself as the perpetrator, with a particular parent? If so, what motivates this preference, and conversely, why is the other parent less preferred for these disclosures? 5. Do you always prefer sharing memories of guilt with the same parent? Why? 6. Could you elaborate on the reasons for not choosing the other parent as a confidant listener in these situations? 7. Upon sharing these negative experiences with your selected parent, what are your expectations from him or her? Precisely, what roles or functions do you anticipate he or she will fulfil in response to your disclosure? These questions are structured to encourage detailed reflection and insight into the participants' perceived functions of memory sharing and their preferred or unpreferred listener characteristics among their mothers and fathers. Results and Discussion Perceived Functions of Memory-Sharing with Parents Regarding Negative Experiences Where Narrators Are Perpetrators: directive and emotion regulation Aligned with the ecological approach, which implies that different types of memories may inherently support certain functions over others, influenced by variables such as the emotional valence attached to the memory (Bluck et al., 2002; Rasmussen et al., 2009), the present study drew its objectives and methods. As a result, this research focused on a particular type of memory, emphasizing certain inclusion criteria, involving a specific age demographic (Turkish adolescents aged 19–22), particular emotional memories of recent negative experiences occurring within school settings over the last six months, where individuals identify themselves in the role of the perpetrator, and the targeted listeners for these memory sharings being either the narrators' mothers or fathers. These inclusion criteria were deliberately chosen to achieve as much homogeneity as possible, thereby delineating the specific memory-sharing functions in comparable scenarios. The functions associated with sharing these negative experiences with parents were elucidated from a meticulous qualitative analysis of interviews conducted with adolescent participants, who served as both actors in and narrators of these recounted events. The findings from interviews with 11 Turkish adolescents, comprising five males and six females, indicated that a majority (n = 7) identified their mothers as their preferred confidants for disclosing their memories of guilt. In contrast, a smaller fraction (n = 4) indicated a preference for their fathers in these scenarios. Furthermore, the analysis identified two primary perceived functions of sharing negative memories with parents among adolescents, namely directive (n = 9) and emotion regulation (n = 6) regardless of the parent’s gender as listeners (see Table 1 ). Directive function Regardless of the listener's gender, whether mother or father, the participants mostly reported perceiving directive functions when sharing their memories of guilt. This observation aligns with the findings presented in the previously reviewed literature, which supports that compared to positive memories, negative memories are more associated with directive functions (e.ge., Pasupathi et al., 2002 ; Pillemer, 2003 ; Rasmussen et al., 2009). Participants’ accounts illustrate how sharing these life events with a particular parent employs past incidents to confront present difficulties (Bluck & Alea, 2002 ) and influence future behaviors and reflections (Baddeley, 1988 ; Pillemer, 1998 ). The theoretical propositions of the directive function of negative memory-sharing find empirical support in the current study, as reported by participants' deliberate references to future behavior guidance and decision-making to articulate their perceived directive functions when disclosing their memories of guilt to their mother and father. (P1) “I share my negative experiences with him to help me with concrete solutions to fix the situation.” (P2) “I tell her about my mistakes so that she can advise me. She finds ways to get rid of the adverse situations I face in life.” (P3) “When I share my negative memories with her, she tells me what I should do.” (P4) “Narrating my negative experiences to my mom gives me the opportunity to hear her valuable opinion and how she would solve similar situations.” (P5) “I tell him about my bad events in life so that I can benefit from his experience and knowledge. He is good at it and I appreciate his ways of dealing with problems.”. (P6) “I share those negative memories with her to get support on how to deal with the situation.” (P8) “ I tell him about my mistakes to learn how I should behave to fix the conflicts. It is important for me to resort to my father instead of struggling with the situation alone.” (P9) “She also shares her opinions regarding how I can solve my problems.” (P11) “I resort to him when I mess up, so I listen to his wise opinions. His advice always convinces me because it is based on logical and efficient perspectives.” Emotion regulation function Consistent with literature that posits individuals' engagement in narrating autobiographical memories as a mechanism for regulating emotions (Kulkofsky, Wang, & Hou, 2010 ; Pasupathi, McLean, & Weeks, 2022; Rasmussen et al., 2009), the present study identified that six participants perceived an emotion regulatory function in their parents' listening. Pasupathi and her colleagues ( 2022 ) argued that communicating emotional experiences with significant others throughout the lifespan, from early childhood through adulthood, is essential for enhancing socio-emotional well-being. Echoing this hypothesis, other scholars have theorized that sharing emotional events may expedite emotional recovery (Nils & Rimé, 2012 ). Such theoretical propositions find empirical support in the current study, as evidenced by participants' deliberate references to emotional "healing" (Participant 11) and the utilization of the metaphor of "therapy" (Participant 10) to articulate their perceived functions of emotion regulation when disclosing their memories of guilt to their parents, both mother and fathers. (P3) “Makes me feel released and boosts my mood. Whenever I recount things that make me sad or uncomfortable to my mother, I become more optimistic.” (P5) “ This helps me feel better and reduces my feelings of guilt or shame. He can appease my feelings, and his listening reassures me, making me feel relaxed.” (P7) “Sharing my negative memories with her helps me reduce my negative emotions and feel released.” (P9) “I tell her about my faults and all my negative memories to improve my mood and reduce feelings of guilt.” (P10) “Sharing my faults with her is always a relief, just like therapy. Her presence regulates my mood regardless of how much I mess things up. She makes me feel confident and positive.” (P11) “I know he can heal me and give me emotional relief.” In the analysis of participants' interviews, a predominant emphasis on the directive and emotion-regulation functions was observed when memories of guilt were shared with parents. However, asserting the complete absence of social and self-functions within these exchanges would be oversimplified. This notion is exemplified by the eighth participant (P8), who explicitly stated, "It is important to me to resort to my father instead of struggling with the situation alone." This example illustrates the nuanced nature of daily-life memory exchange analyses and the complex interplay of memory-sharing functions. The challenges encountered in analyzing these interviews resonate with Pillemer's (2003) viewpoint, which suggests that the differentiation among memory-sharing functions might appear overly theoretical, given that these functions often blend seamlessly in everyday contexts. This complexity is further underlined by the nature of autobiographical narratives, which are fundamentally linked to self-concepts (Conway & Pleydell-Pearce, 2000 ). Moreover, the developmental perspective on memory-sharing posits that the act of sharing memories within family settings plays a pivotal role in fostering intimate bonds between parents and children (Fivush & Nelson, 2004 ; Fivush & Reese, 2002 ), pointing out the inherently social aspect of memory-sharing. These narratives are not only shared within a social context but also naturally serve a social function (Alea et al., 2003), reinforcing the significance of the social dimensions of memory-sharing. Perceived Characteristics of the Preferred and Unpreferred listeners among parents In the literature on listener characteristics in the context of autobiographical memory, research findings delineate two broad classifications: positive and negative listener characteristics. On the one hand, characteristics such as empathy, attentiveness, cooperativeness, and responsiveness, which positively influence narrators, are emphasized (Elmi et al., 2019 ; Pasupathi et al., 2009; Pasupathi et al., 2015). This dimension aligns with the conceptualization of the 'good listener' within memory-sharing interactions, as explored in previous studies (Bavelas et al., 2000 ; Weinstein et al., 2021 ). On the contrary, the literature also identifies negative listening characteristics, including unresponsiveness, indifference, and distractibility, which negatively affect the narrator's well-being (Fioretti et al., 2017 ; Weinstein et al., 2021 ; Pasupathi et al., 2015). However, the current study aimed to elucidate the characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners from the narrators' perception within a specific context of memory-sharing. Specifically, the focus is on the narrator's perceived listener characteristics that either facilitate or inhibit the disclosure of emotionally negative memories, with the narrator assuming the role of the perpetrator. This research positions adolescent children as narrators and their parents as listeners, with a particular interest in exploring potential gender differences between mothers and fathers as perceived by their children. The findings suggested that the perceived characteristics of preferred and unpreferred listeners are gender-specific, indicating that participants discerned different characteristics as preferred or unpreferred based on their parent's gender. Specifically, when adolescents designate their mothers as the preferred listeners, they commonly attribute their preference to two primary reasons for their mothers' listening behaviors: availability and empathy. Conversely, when fathers are designated as the preferred listeners, the reasons defining this preference, as perceived by their adolescent children, are divided into two distinct categories: good listening skills and the provision of logical advice. Furthermore, when addressing the characteristics that diminish the preference for a parent as a confidante, the research findings reveal a divergence based on the parent in question. Specifically, when fathers are identified as the unpreferred listeners, the adolescents' accounts converge on two predominant reasons: a lack of availability and a tendency for harsh criticism. Conversely, the characteristics that diminish the preference for mothers as listeners, as derived from the research interviews, are primarily classified into bad listening skills and a tendency towards dramatization (see Table 2 ). Table 2 Turkish adolescents’ perceived characteristics of preferred vs. unpreferred listeners among their mothers and fathers Parents’ gender as listeners Perceived characteristics of the preferred listener Perceived characteristics of the unpreferred listener Father Good listening skills Unavailability Logical advice Harsh criticism Mother Availability Bad listening skills Empathy Dramatisation Perceived characteristics of the preferred listener between Turkish mothers and fathers Several narrators among the Turkish adolescent participants have indicated a tendency to share their memories of guilt with their mothers. This preference is attributed to perceived mothers' availability and empathy. The inclination towards mothers as confidantes due to their empathetic nature finds resonance in existing literature, underscoring the significant impact of empathetic listening on autobiographical narration (Saugimori et al., 2020). Furthermore, this preference for mothers over fathers as empathetic listeners reinforces previously documented views on comparative empathy (Baez et al., 2017 ), compassion (Salazar, 2016 ), and affective recognition skills (Baron-Cohen et al., 2015 ) attributed to women over men. In other words, various theories provide insights into comprehending the discerned empathy in mothers' listening in this research. For instance, evolutionary models posit that differences in reproductive investment have led to sex-selective pressures, resulting in sex-specific social behaviors. This includes a heightened propensity among women for emotional expression and comprehension (Geary, 2002 ), which may elucidate the empathy observed in mothers rather than fathers. Additionally, these findings align with gender socialization models, which suggest that cultural norms regarding gender roles shape expectations and behaviors differently for men and women (Thomas et al., 2008), possibly explaining why children perceive mothers as more empathetic but also more available than fathers. Indeed, our study highlighted participants' preference for sharing experiences with mothers, linked to the perceived availability of mothers. This perception aligns with Turkey's societal and familial expectations, which traditionally assign primary childcare responsibilities to mothers, irrespective of their employment status, educational level, or economic contribution (Gedik, 2020 ; Ozdal et al., 2005). Moreover, although the results show that fathers have efficient listening skills, mothers are perceived as more available listeners to their children. Consistent with this hypothesis, Parker and Wang ( 2013 ) demonstrated that despite the slight change in fathers’ engagements with their children, today, mothers still spend twice as much time dealing with their children as do fathers. Interestingly, the perceived listening competencies of fathers among Turkish participants have also been pointed out, suggesting an area for further exploration (Zaneti & Boyacioglu, under review). This perception might be illuminated by research into brain imaging, which demonstrates gender differences in listening and conversational engagement. This research posits that while women may be more attuned to the emotional aspects, men often focus on factual content, potentially contributing to the perception of men as more effective listeners in certain contexts (Phillips et al., 2001 ; Booth-Butterfield, 1984 ). In concordance with the significance of adept listening skills, the participants articulated a preference for their fathers' listening, attributing this preference to their logical guidance. This finding aligns with Gray's (1992) insights on gender disparities in communication, where he delineates distinct communication preferences among genders, suggesting that males predominantly exhibit a results-oriented communication style. In contrast, females tend to focus on fostering relational connections. This phenomenon was pointed out by participant testimonials, revealing a tendency among fathers to guide their children directly towards problem-solving, avoiding unnecessary vain conversations (see P11). Participant 11 provided an illustrative account of his preference for discussing issues with his father, emphasizing the logical advice he receives compared to his interactions with his mother, where he perceives a lack of logical reasoning. This distinction points to the nuanced differences in communication practices observed between fathers and mothers, as noted by the participants in the present study. Mothers: Availability (P3) “ Honestly, I find it more like a habit. This is what we are used to. We all resort to my mother to share our daily stories. And she is always available. I always find her present for me. She always finds time to listen to me. Even though she has many responsibilities, she always shows that she is here to listen to me.” Mothers: Empathy (P7) “ Regardless of my position as perpetrator or victim, I always prefer to share all my negative stories with my mother because I feel and see her empathy. When she listens to me, I feel she puts herself in my place, making me feel that she actually understands my position better than anyone else which is why she never made me feel that I am under judgments.” Fathers: Good listening skills (P5 ) “ Honestly, I prefer to share these memories with my father, especially when I recognize I am the perpetrator of the mistake. My father listens more carefully to me and reacts appropriately. He listens attentively without interrupting me and shares his point of view openly. I feel that he respects such experiences. He sits committedly and focuses on every detail I say.” Fathers: Logical advice (P11) “ I generally prefer to share my negative experiences with my father because he listens with lots of logic, does not waste time exacerbating the situation more than it actually is, and focuses on efficient and logical ways to fix it without wasting time. He always starts with, All right, now things have already happened, and we can never change the past; however, we can fix the future, right? You should focus on how to fix things rather than getting lost in negative feelings.’ This sentence orients me towards logical and realistic directions. I do not perceive those specific characteristics in my mother’s listening, so my father’s way of listening to me fits me better.” Perceived characteristics of the unpreferred listener between Turkish mothers and fathers Several participants expressed reluctance to confide in their mothers due to perceived bad listening skills and susceptibility to dramatizing the shared experiences. Meanwhile, other participants expressed their inhibition to share their memories with their fathers, attributing this to the fathers' unavailability and propensity for harsh criticism (see Table 2 ). Furthermore, beyond the comparison of perceived listening skills between mothers and fathers and the contrast between mothers' availability and fathers' greater likelihood of being unavailable, as previously discussed, it has been noted that participants prefer not to share memories with their mothers due to a likelihood for dramatization. This rationale alligns with findings from a metacognition study by Pintrich and De Groot ( 1990 ), which determined that female participants experienced higher levels of anxiety compared to male participants. Correspondingly, evidence from the literature underscores the predominance of women, compared to men, in experiencing negative emotions within the context of autobiographical memory exchanges (e.g., Boyacioglu et al., 2016 ; Fivush & Grysman, 2022 ; Latu, Schmid Mast, & Kaiser, 2013). The tendency of mothers, as listeners, to amplify the negativity of their children's negative experiences may be elucidated through a biological framework, which posits that gender differences in emotional expression are fundamentally anchored in inherent biological disparities. Specifically, hormonal differences are posited as reasons for which, for example, women exhibit a higher frequency of crying and a more intense expression of fear in response to perceived threats compared to men (Gordon & Riger, 1991 ). Moreover, the preference expressed by some participants for their mothers' listening instead of their fathers, due to the perceived harsh criticism of Turkish fathers, correlates with findings from sociological studies in Turkey. These studies underline societal stereotypes that shape family dynamics within Turkish culture, portraying fathers as more authoritarian, stricter, and more likely to enforce oppressive discipline in their relationships with their children compared to mothers (e.g., Gedik, 2020 ; Sancar, 2009 ; Yorukoglu, 1992 ). Mothers: Bad listening skills (P5) "I don't prefer to share my emotionally important experiences with my mother because her way of listening exacerbates my negative situation. While I am sad and narrating serious things, she always seems distracted with washing dishes or decides to look after my little brother at that right moment. Besides, I don't find her an attentive listener; she is always distracted by other things. I also get mad when she doesn't allow me to elaborate on my ideas. She is always likely to interrupt and jump to conclusions, which gives me the impression that she is always in a hurry and doesn't take me seriously". Mothers: Dramatisation (P1) "I never prefer to share my negative experiences with my mother, especially when I am mistaken; she overreacts, making me feel worse. I feel like she dramatizes everything and exaggerates when perceiving negativity over positivity. She always struggles with her own life's negative conditions. I avoid adding more negativity to her". Fathers: Unavailability (P6) "Regardless of the experience, positive or negative, I never resort to my father to share with him because he is never there for us. He is always outside or busy with something else. Whenever he is home, he is occupied with television, his phone, or work on his laptop". Fathers: Harsh criticism (P7) "I don't prefer to share my experiences, especially those in which I am somehow mistaken, with my father because I know well how harsh he can seem with his hurtful words. He doesn't focus on the events of the story but directly attributes criticisms to me that never helps but makes me feel worse". Conclusion The present qualitative study sought to explore perceived memory-sharing functions and perceived characteristics of preferred or unpreferred listeners between Turkish adolescents and their parents, assigning the roles of listener to parents and narrator to children. The research focused on specific autobiographical memory-sharing related to negative experiences, particularly where the narrators identified themselves as the perpetrators. The results of this study indicated that the participants shared their memories of guilt with their parents for functions related to directive and emotional regulation, irrespective of the parent's gender. These findings align with existing literature that distinguishes the functions of positive and negative memories, suggesting that negative memories fulfil fewer social and self-related functions compared to positive ones (Pasupathi et al., 2002 ; Pillemer, 1998 , 2003 ; Rasmussen et al., 2009). Furthermore, the data from this qualitative analysis indicated a nuanced perception of Turkish children regarding their mothers and fathers as listeners. Mothers were valued for their empathy and availability, although their potential for dramatization and poor listening skills sometimes made them less preferred. Conversely, fathers were often regarded as preferred listeners due to their effective listening skills, including providing logical advice. However, their occasional unavailability and likelihood of harsh criticism could detract from their appeal as confidants. This study contributes to a close understanding of intergenerational communication within Turkish families, highlighting the complex roles played by parents as listeners to their children's negative autobiographical narratives. The qualitative analysis of participant interviews offers a nuanced comprehension of the evolving dynamics within Turkish family structures undelined by recent social sciences studies (e.g., Gedik 2020 ; Gungormus, 2001). Notably, industrialization and urbanization since the mid-20th century have precipitated significant social modifications within these familial structures (Gedik, 2020 ). Such transformations have notably influenced domestic relationships and parental roles, with mothers increasingly participating in the workforce and fathers becoming more involved in childcare (Gungormus, 2001). Despite the progressive shift toward more engaged fatherhood in Turkey, this trend remains relatively nascent and is limited in scope (Tol & Taskan, 2018; Gedik, 2020 ). Consequently, although Turkish fathers are moving away from their traditional role as the sole financial provider and engaging more with child-rearing responsibilities, mothers maintain their status as the primary caregivers (Gedik, 2020 ). This study's findings further elucidate this evolving dynamic, emphasizing fathers' improved listening skills and ability to offer logical advice. However, they underscore fathers' continued unavailability and the likelihood of harsh criticism. Such observations suggest that Turkish fathers may be navigating a complex transition from traditional to contemporary paternal roles (Gedik, 2020 ), balancing better communicative attributes with prevailing limitations in availability and empathy. Conversely, findings may prove that new motherhood, characterized by a dual focus on professional commitments and domestic responsibilities, impacts mothers' attentiveness and availability as listeners to their children. Participant feedback, particularly from P5, indicate this tension, noting instances where negative emotional disclosures were met with distraction, lack of attention and preemptive conclusions by their mothers, thereby reflecting a broader struggle to balance traditional caregiving expectations with modern societal demands in contemporary mothers, similar to Gedik's (2020) conclusions regarding Turkish fathers' struggle between 'the new fatherhood' and 'the traditional fatherhood' codes. In sum, the current examination of Turkish family dynamics reveals a significant transitional phase, where traditional parental roles are being redefined amidst broader societal shifts. Although the pace of cultural and societal change is rapid, the behaviors and perceptions of individuals within these family structures exhibit a slower adaptation process, as articulated by LaRossa ( 1988 ). Exploring expectations and anticipated functions associated with sharing autobiographical memory, particularly within the familial context, is paramount as it illuminates unexplored areas within international and Turkish literature by arguing for a holistic approach, specifically ecological, to studying autobiographical memory-sharing. Such an approach should encompass the entire conversational context, with a special emphasis on the role of the listener. Though qualitative research is limited in generalizability due to the typically small sample sizes, it offers in-depth insights into the queried phenomena. This is particularly true when addressing complex dynamics present in everyday life, where quantitative methodologies may introduce biases. Additionally, there is a gap in the literature regarding the perception of listening characteristics in daily memory-sharing scenarios, signifying a critical area for future research endeavors. Quantitative research, while valuable, faces challenges in these specific contexts due to the comprehensive data required for generalization. Qualitative methodologies, therefore, are considered more suitable for studying such nuanced subjects. This is supported by Pasupathi and Billitteri ( 2015 ), who posited the importance of focusing on the listener within the context of autobiographical memory research. In conclusion, our study serves as a preliminary effort to elucidate the perceived functions of memory-sharing and listener characteristics within familial settings in Turkey. Although our findings offer rich exploratory data on the dynamics between adolescent children and their parents, subsequent studies could expand this research to include children at various life stages and ages. Moreover, this study was limited to negative memories where narrators identified as perpetrators, suggesting that future research could also consider narratives where individuals recount experiences from a victim's standpoint. Our investigation contributes to the existing body of knowledge and lays the groundwork for future quantitative studies by providing a range of concepts and categories ripe for systematic exploration. This is particularly pertinent to family context, requiring more exploration in autobiographical memory-sharing literature. Declarations Funding: The authors declare they had no funding support during the research. Author Contribution S.Z. contributed to the data collection, participants interviews, overall writing, and proofreading of the manuscript. I.B. supervised the study and contributed to the design and interpretation of the qualitative data. Both authors reviewed and approved the final version of the paper. Acknowledgement This study is part of the first author’s doctoral thesis research at Dokuz Eylul University’s Social Psychology Program, from which they graduated in July 2025. Dokuz Eylul University’s Ethics Committee is acknowledged for confirming this study’s compliance with ethical standards. Data Availability The data supporting the findings of this study are not publicly available due to privacy and ethical restrictions but may be available from the corresponding author upon reasonable request and with appropriate ethical approval. Authors have no known conflict of interest to disclose. References Alea, N., & Bluck, S. (2003). Why are you telling me that? A conceptual model of the social function of autobiographical memory. Memory (Hove, England) , 11 , 165–178. Baddeley, A. (1988). But what the hell is it for? In M. M. Gruneberg, P. E. Morris, & R. N. Sykes (Eds.), Practical aspects of memory: Current research and issues, Vol. 1: Memory in everyday life (p. 3ః 18). 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Table 1 Table 1 is available in the Supplementary Files section. Additional Declarations No competing interests reported. Supplementary Files Table1.docx Cite Share Download PDF Status: Under Review Version 1 posted Reviews received at journal 10 Apr, 2026 Reviewers agreed at journal 26 Mar, 2026 Reviewers invited by journal 24 Mar, 2026 Editor assigned by journal 24 Mar, 2026 Submission checks completed at journal 21 Mar, 2026 First submitted to journal 17 Mar, 2026 You are reading this latest preprint version Research Square lets you share your work early, gain feedback from the community, and start making changes to your manuscript prior to peer review in a journal. As a division of Research Square Company, we’re committed to making research communication faster, fairer, and more useful. We do this by developing innovative software and high quality services for the global research community. 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Also discoverable on Platform About Our Team In Review Editorial Policies Advisory Board Help Center Resources Author Services Accessibility API Access RSS feed Manage Cookie Preferences © Research Square 2026 | ISSN 2693-5015 (online) Privacy Policy Terms of Service Do Not Sell My Personal Information {"props":{"pageProps":{"initialData":{"identity":"rs-9146933","acceptedTermsAndConditions":true,"allowDirectSubmit":false,"archivedVersions":[],"articleType":"Research Article","associatedPublications":[],"authors":[{"id":612104330,"identity":"c99cc37c-9c86-4ec7-b58d-5c75957f9836","order_by":0,"name":"Dr. Sarah Zaneti","email":"data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAZAAAAAyAQMAAABI0h/eAAAABlBMVEX///8AAABVwtN+AAAACXBIWXMAAA7EAAAOxAGVKw4bAAAA+klEQVRIiWNgGAWjYJACZhjjwMcGEMXYeIDBhigtzAwHZzYwSAC1NBxgSCNSCzMvWAvQOnxa5NvPPvxcwFAnb87ef/Cw7Q6bOt32w0BbEu7h1GJwJt1YegYDm+HOnsMMh3PPpEmYnUkEaSnGrQXoBGkeBh7GDTeSgVraDkuYHQBqYfyRgNth/c+Yf/MwSNhvuP+Y4bAlSMv5hyBbcGthuJHGBrTFIHHDDWaGw4wgLTcS8WsxuPGMzZrHICF5w5lkg4O9bWmS224AbUnAo0W+P435Nk9Fne2G4wcff/jZZsNvdj794YMP+BwGDQQ0QEjDKBgFo2AUjAL8AADBF1i0pHWKGQAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==","orcid":"","institution":"Dokuz Eylül University","correspondingAuthor":true,"prefix":"Dr.","firstName":"Sarah","middleName":"","lastName":"Zaneti","suffix":""},{"id":612104331,"identity":"c596e588-d9f5-4da2-a217-ffc4adb51993","order_by":1,"name":"Prof. Dr. Inci Boyacioglu","email":"","orcid":"","institution":"Dokuz Eylül University","correspondingAuthor":false,"prefix":"","firstName":"Prof.","middleName":"Dr. Inci","lastName":"Boyacioglu","suffix":""}],"badges":[],"createdAt":"2026-03-17 09:38:12","currentVersionCode":1,"declarations":"","doi":"10.21203/rs.3.rs-9146933/v1","doiUrl":"https://doi.org/10.21203/rs.3.rs-9146933/v1","draftVersion":[],"editorialEvents":[],"editorialNote":"","failedWorkflow":false,"files":[{"id":105566765,"identity":"9af3ad61-2193-49e2-b652-8bd472ae2570","added_by":"auto","created_at":"2026-03-27 12:57:15","extension":"pdf","order_by":0,"title":"","display":"","copyAsset":false,"role":"manuscript-pdf","size":882767,"visible":true,"origin":"","legend":"","description":"","filename":"manuscript.pdf","url":"https://assets-eu.researchsquare.com/files/rs-9146933/v1/b8585579-194c-4fbe-9e17-4df4234637f6.pdf"},{"id":105456960,"identity":"bed4ca1f-db67-4db6-bcef-45bb02764476","added_by":"auto","created_at":"2026-03-26 09:18:11","extension":"docx","order_by":1,"title":"","display":"","copyAsset":false,"role":"supplement","size":532962,"visible":true,"origin":"","legend":"","description":"","filename":"Table1.docx","url":"https://assets-eu.researchsquare.com/files/rs-9146933/v1/199a990b5291c174e8751281.docx"}],"financialInterests":"No competing interests reported.","formattedTitle":"A Qualitative Investigation of Adolescents’ Perceptions of Sharing Guilt Memories with Their Parents","fulltext":[{"header":"Introduction","content":"\u003cp\u003eNarrating experiences from one's life is ubiquitous in human existence, with individuals often engaging in reminiscence when alone or sharing these narratives with others (Bruner, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1991\u003c/span\u003e). Storytelling, especially within familial settings, has been a significant focus of the developmental psychology approach (e.g., Bakir-Demir, Reese \u0026amp; Sahin Acar, 2020; Fivush \u0026amp; Nelson, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2004\u003c/span\u003e; Reese \u0026amp; Fivush, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1993\u003c/span\u003e; Sahin-Acar, Leichtman, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2015\u003c/span\u003e; Wang, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2004\u003c/span\u003e). For instance, it has been demonstrated that family gatherings, such as dinner times, are frequent occasions for exchanging daily experiences or family memories, happening as often as every five minutes (Bohanek et al., \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2009\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eResearch has proven that autobiographical memories of emotionally negative experiences strongly mark people's autobiographical narratives (e.g., McAdams, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2011\u003c/span\u003e), with a bias observed towards reflecting upon negative over positive events (Taylor, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1991\u003c/span\u003e). Furthermore, it is assumed that negative memories tend to be more accurately retained in people's lives (Levine \u0026amp; Pizarro, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2004\u003c/span\u003e) and are recalled or shared to enhance individuals' survival (Taylor, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1991\u003c/span\u003e). Despite the evident emphasis placed on emotionally negative memories within personal recollections, the literature predominantly focuses on positive memories (Walker, Skowronski, \u0026amp; Thompson, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e). The scarcity of studies on negative memories becomes more apparent when examining the literature on the dynamics between perpetrators and victims in these negative experiences. Divergent viewpoints exist within this field. While early research posited that perpetrators tend to have a stronger recollection of negative experiences compared to victims (e.g., Sichrovsky, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1988\u003c/span\u003e; Baumeister et al., \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1990\u003c/span\u003e), a more recent study suggests that victims reported higher recall of negative episodes compared to the memories retained by perpetrators of the same incidents (Helion, Helzer, Kim \u0026amp; Pizarro, 2021).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eExploring the role of negative memories in constructing personal narratives, McAdams (\u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2011\u003c/span\u003e) posits that individuals frequently recount negative events to engage in reflective self and place themselves within a moral context. This process is crucial for understanding one's identity as a moral entity, aligning with the notion that life narratives serve essential self-functions for moral self-conception (Strohminger \u0026amp; Nichols, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2014\u003c/span\u003e). Besides the self-function, research within the autobiographical memory field reveals that these memories generally fulfil social and directive functions (Bluck \u0026amp; Alea, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e; Cohen, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1998\u003c/span\u003e; Hyman \u0026amp; Faries, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1992\u003c/span\u003e; Pillemer, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1992\u003c/span\u003e). The self-function involves recollecting personal events to confirm one's identity over time or to adjust the self (Conway, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2005\u003c/span\u003e). The social function is essential for creating, maintaining, and deepening social connections, as well as triggering empathy (Alea \u0026amp; Bluck, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e; Pillemer, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1998\u003c/span\u003e). Lastly, the directive function of autobiographical memory enables the use of past experiences to navigate present challenges (Bluck \u0026amp; Alea, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e) and to influence future decisions and directions (Baddeley, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1988\u003c/span\u003e; Pillemer, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1998\u003c/span\u003e). In addition to these well-established memory functions, autobiographical memories have been indicated to fulfil additional roles, such as emotion regulation (e.g., Kulkofsky et al., \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2010\u003c/span\u003e; Pasupathi, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e), particularly concerning emotionally charged life memories. Various scholars have posited that the emotional significance of memories influences their function (e.g., Rasmussen \u0026amp; Berntsen, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2009\u003c/span\u003e). In summary, despite the lack of literature research focusing on the functions of memory-sharing for specific negative experiences, such as memories of guilt, evidence remains relatively persistent regarding the functions of negative memory-sharing. The past studies indicate that the sharing of negative experiences by narrators, irrespective of their positions as perpetrators or victims, is relevant to both directive functions (Pillemer, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e; Rasmussen et al., 2009) and emotional regulation functions (Pasupathi, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThese functions illustrate the significance of the purposes behind sharing memories (Bruce, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1989\u003c/span\u003e), accentuating the necessity of examining the use of autobiographical memory in daily life beyond its mechanisms. Indeed, an integrative framework is essential for examining the patterns of autobiographical memory sharing, particularly in the context of emotionally charged life events. It requires a thorough analysis of the entire conversational context where an individual opts to share a memory with a specific listener. Though there is an apparent propensity among individuals to recount their most emotionally charged autobiographical events, it becomes clear that not every experience is shared with others (Nils \u0026amp; Rimé, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2012\u003c/span\u003e). The anticipated reaction from potential listeners plays a significant role in the decision to withhold specific life experiences from being shared (Pasupathi et al., 2015). There is a preference among individuals to share their stories with those whom they believe will offer support and show engagement (Hoyt, Renshaw, \u0026amp; Pasupathi, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2013\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eResearch has robustly demonstrated that the nature of what is narrated is influenced significantly by the narrator's perception of the listener's need and preparedness for the information (Grice, 1989). Adjustments in storytelling also depend on the expected responses from listeners, with a notable adaptation occurring due to gendered expectations of emotional expressiveness (e.g., Grysman, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e; Grysman \u0026amp; Denney, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2017\u003c/span\u003e). For instance, studies have observed that men tend to offer more detailed narratives to female listeners compared to male listeners, whereas women are more likely to include emotional elements when speaking to other women than to men (Grysman \u0026amp; Denney, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2017\u003c/span\u003e). Additionally, there is a tendency for narrators to withhold emotional depth and details in the presence of listeners perceived as disinterested or distracted (Pasupathi \u0026amp; Billitteri, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2015\u003c/span\u003e). Pasupathi and Billitteri (\u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2015\u003c/span\u003e) further argued the necessity of an engaged and cooperative listener for the narrator to share emotional memories.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eOver two decades, the literature supports the significant effect of listener characteristics on the narrative context, indicating that empathetic, engaged, and attentive listeners positively influence both the narrative process and the narrator's subsequent self-perceptions and well-being (e.g., Paupathi et al., 2015). Variation in listener characteristics can lead to differing outcomes for the narrator, ranging from emotional recovery and reduced distress to enhanced social integration for positive engagements, as opposed to neutral responses that fail to offer such benefits (Nils \u0026amp; Rimé, \u003cspan class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2012\u003c/span\u003e). Literature on listener characteristics in narrative contexts reveals some inconsistency in the descriptive terms used across studies and even within a single author's body of work (Zaneti \u0026amp; Boyacioglu, under review). Despite the variability in describing listener characteristics, the research converges on identifying characteristics that positively or negatively influence the narrative-sharing process, including characteristics of good listeners like attentiveness, empathy, and interest versus negative traits like distraction and indifference.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eIn summary, research in autobiographical memory sharing indicates that individuals selectively choose a listener to share their most emotionally charged life events. However, an apparent gap in literature exists, as no studies have yet explored the perceived characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners from the narrator's perspective. More specifically, there is an absence of research on how individuals perceive the listening characteristics of others when narrating memories of guilt in which they perceive themselves as the perpetrator. Notably, the literature does not address how, regardless of their age, children perceive the listening characteristics of their parents, distinguishing between mothers and fathers, in the context of sharing autobiographical memories. This gap may stem from a poor conceptualization of the interaction between parents and children in narrative exchange. There is a prevailing oversight in not recognizing parents as potential listeners, rather than merely co-narrators or scaffolders, and in overlooking children as active narrators in autobiographical memory sharing research (Zaneti \u0026amp; Boyacioglu, under review). Furthermore, there is a recognized need for further exploration into how listening characteristics are perceived in daily sharing experiences, which presents a significant area for research inquiry. Conducting research in such specific contexts of memory-sharing, particularly concerning daily life situations, poses challenges for quantitative methodologies due to the need for extensive data for generalization. Thus, qualitative approaches are more suitable for these investigations (Pasupathi et al., 2015).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eObjectives of the present study\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe current study aims to investigate the practice of sharing specific autobiographical memories within the family context. It focuses on Turkish adolescent children who share memories of guilt with their parents, where they are the perpetrators rather than the victims. This research explores participants' perceptions of their parents' listening characteristics and the functions these shared memories serve.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThis study is particularly interested in the dynamics influencing the choice of one parent over another as a listener and the reasons behind an individual's reluctance to share with particular listeners, specifically when the listeners in question are the parents and the narrators are their adolescent children. Furthermore, it seeks to identify the perceived characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners from adolescents' perspectives and understand why they decided to share or withhold memories of guilt from these specific listeners, namely mothers and fathers. A critical part of this investigation involves exploring the perceived functions of memory-sharing with a chosen listener. It elucidates the distinctions between mothers and fathers in their roles as listeners in their children's perceptions. Examining the participants' perceived functions of memory-sharing may shed light on the rationale behind their preference for one parent as a listener over the other.\u003c/p\u003e "},{"header":"Method","content":"\u003cp\u003eGiven the specific nature of the variables under examination, the methodology adopted for the present study is inherently exploratory and qualitative.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe main interviews with participants took place throughout July and August 2024. The participants’ group comprised 11 Turkish adolescents, including five male and six female students, whose ages ranged from 19 to 22 years (see Table\u0026nbsp;\u003cspan class=\"InternalRef\"\u003e1\u003c/span\u003e). These participants were recruited through telephone correspondence and agreed to participate in the study after being comprehensively informed about the content and procedures involved, providing informed consent.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe data collection method employed semi-structured interviews facilitated via Google Meet, which allowed for a predominantly open-ended question format. While the initial inquiries aimed to elicit specific memories to serve as a foundation, participants were encouraged to expand upon their narratives. Probing questions were used to delve further into the details. Each interview had an approximate duration of 20 minutes per participant.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRecruitment was achieved through convenience sampling. The call for participants was circulated within the authors' networks and further propagated, resulting in the involvement of students from Dokuz Eylül University in İzmir, all residing in dormitories close to the university premises. The volunteers expressed no reservations about participating, particularly once reassured about the anonymity of the research and its principal objectives.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe analytical approach combines deductive and inductive reasoning, facilitating a dual-method thematic and interpretative phenomenological analysis. This approach aimed to elucidate both the perceived characteristics of preferred and unpreferred listeners and the perceived functions of sharing specific autobiographical memories associated with negative experiences in which the participants assumed themselves as the perpetrators with a particular parent.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter a reiterating the study's primary goals and assuring participants of anonymity to affirm consent, participants were asked about demographics such as age, gender, and level of education. The interviews commenced with prompts for participants to recall and briefly narrate a memory of guilt in which they perceived themselves as perpetrators rather than victims and to identify the parents with whom they typically shared memories of guilt. Subsequent open-ended questions aimed to investigate the perceived functions of sharing these memories (see Table\u0026nbsp;\u003cspan class=\"InternalRef\"\u003e1\u003c/span\u003e) and the characteristics of both the preferred and unpreferred listeners.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe researchers transcribed all interviews into written form, meticulously reviewed them, and coded them under mutual consent based on the related literature. The concordance of the researchers' analyses fostered a comprehensive thematic analysis and classification of the perceived functions of memory sharing and the perceived listening characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners. The data were fully transcribed and rigorously analyzed following Braun and Clarke’s six-phase thematic analysis framework.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIndeed, the present study employed Braun and Clarke’s (2006) thematic analysis due to its methodological flexibility and theoretical adaptability. This approach is well-suited for exploring subjective experiences and meaning-making processes, particularly within social and psychological contexts. Thematic analysis enables systematic identification, analysis, and interpretation of patterns within qualitative data, while allowing researchers to work within diverse epistemological frameworks. Its structured six-phase process offers a clear and rigorous guide. Moreover, its effectiveness has been supported in prior psychological research addressing autobiographical narratives (e.g., Ascienzo et al., 2022), making it particularly suitable for the current investigation.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eInterview Questions\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn exploring memories of guilt, the following inquiries were formulated to facilitate a nuanced understanding of family communication dynamics, particularly memory sharing in Turkish parents-adolescent children dyads. These questions aim to delve into the participants\u0026apos; processes of sharing these experiences with their parents, the selection of the parent confided in, and the expectations from these confessional interactions.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e1. Could you reflect on a recent negative experience in the school environment where you found yourself in the role of the perpetrator\u0026mdash;where your actions, attitudes, words, or irresponsibility negatively impacted others, and you later shared this experience with one of your parents?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e2. Can you briefly describe this experience?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e3. To which parent did you choose to disclose this experience? Could you explain why you chose this parent over the other?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e4. Is there a pattern in your preference for sharing these memories of guilt, particularly those where you perceive yourself as the perpetrator, with a particular parent? If so, what motivates this preference, and conversely, why is the other parent less preferred for these disclosures?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e5. Do you always prefer sharing memories of guilt with the same parent? Why?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e6. Could you elaborate on the reasons for not choosing the other parent as a confidant listener in these situations?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e7. Upon sharing these negative experiences with your selected parent, what are your expectations from him or her? Precisely, what roles or functions do you anticipate he or she will fulfil in response to your disclosure?\u003cbr\u003e\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese questions are structured to encourage detailed reflection and insight into the participants\u0026apos; perceived functions of memory sharing and their preferred or unpreferred listener characteristics among their mothers and fathers.\u003c/p\u003e"},{"header":"Results and Discussion","content":"\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003ePerceived Functions of Memory-Sharing with Parents Regarding Negative Experiences Where Narrators Are Perpetrators: directive and emotion regulation\u003c/b\u003e \u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eAligned with the ecological approach, which implies that different types of memories may inherently support certain functions over others, influenced by variables such as the emotional valence attached to the memory (Bluck et al., 2002; Rasmussen et al., 2009), the present study drew its objectives and methods. As a result, this research focused on a particular type of memory, emphasizing certain inclusion criteria, involving a specific age demographic (Turkish adolescents aged 19\u0026ndash;22), particular emotional memories of recent negative experiences occurring within school settings over the last six months, where individuals identify themselves in the role of the perpetrator, and the targeted listeners for these memory sharings being either the narrators' mothers or fathers. These inclusion criteria were deliberately chosen to achieve as much homogeneity as possible, thereby delineating the specific memory-sharing functions in comparable scenarios. The functions associated with sharing these negative experiences with parents were elucidated from a meticulous qualitative analysis of interviews conducted with adolescent participants, who served as both actors in and narrators of these recounted events.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThe findings from interviews with 11 Turkish adolescents, comprising five males and six females, indicated that a majority (n\u0026thinsp;=\u0026thinsp;7) identified their mothers as their preferred confidants for disclosing their memories of guilt. In contrast, a smaller fraction (n\u0026thinsp;=\u0026thinsp;4) indicated a preference for their fathers in these scenarios. Furthermore, the analysis identified two primary perceived functions of sharing negative memories with parents among adolescents, namely directive (n\u0026thinsp;=\u0026thinsp;9) and emotion regulation (n\u0026thinsp;=\u0026thinsp;6) regardless of the parent\u0026rsquo;s gender as listeners (see Table\u0026nbsp;\u003cspan refid=\"Tab1\" class=\"InternalRef\"\u003e1\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDirective function\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e Regardless of the listener's gender, whether mother or father, the participants mostly reported perceiving directive functions when sharing their memories of guilt. This observation aligns with the findings presented in the previously reviewed literature, which supports that compared to positive memories, negative memories are more associated with directive functions (e.ge., Pasupathi et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR44\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e; Pillemer, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR49\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e; Rasmussen et al., 2009). Participants\u0026rsquo; accounts illustrate how sharing these life events with a particular parent employs past incidents to confront present difficulties (Bluck \u0026amp; Alea, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR8\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e) and influence future behaviors and reflections (Baddeley, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR2\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1988\u003c/span\u003e; Pillemer, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR48\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1998\u003c/span\u003e). The theoretical propositions of the directive function of negative memory-sharing find empirical support in the current study, as reported by participants' deliberate references to future behavior guidance and decision-making to articulate their perceived directive functions when disclosing their memories of guilt to their mother and father.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P1)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I share my negative experiences with him to help me with concrete solutions to fix the situation.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P2)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I tell her about my mistakes so that she can advise me. She finds ways to get rid of the adverse situations I face in life.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P3)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;When I share my negative memories with her, she tells me what I should do.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P4)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;Narrating my negative experiences to my mom gives me the opportunity to hear her valuable opinion and how she would solve similar situations.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P5)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I tell him about my bad events in life so that I can benefit from his experience and knowledge. He is good at it and I appreciate his ways of dealing with problems.\u0026rdquo;.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P6)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I share those negative memories with her to get support on how to deal with the situation.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P8) \u0026ldquo;\u003c/b\u003eI tell him about my mistakes to learn how I should behave to fix the conflicts. It is important for me to resort to my father instead of struggling with the situation alone.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P9)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;She also shares her opinions regarding how I can solve my problems.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P11)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I resort to him when I mess up, so I listen to his wise opinions. His advice always convinces me because it is based on logical and efficient perspectives.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eEmotion regulation function\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eConsistent with literature that posits individuals' engagement in narrating autobiographical memories as a mechanism for regulating emotions (Kulkofsky, Wang, \u0026amp; Hou, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR33\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2010\u003c/span\u003e; Pasupathi, McLean, \u0026amp; Weeks, 2022; Rasmussen et al., 2009), the present study identified that six participants perceived an emotion regulatory function in their parents' listening. Pasupathi and her colleagues (\u003cspan citationid=\"CR45\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2022\u003c/span\u003e) argued that communicating emotional experiences with significant others throughout the lifespan, from early childhood through adulthood, is essential for enhancing socio-emotional well-being. Echoing this hypothesis, other scholars have theorized that sharing emotional events may expedite emotional recovery (Nils \u0026amp; Rim\u0026eacute;, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR38\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2012\u003c/span\u003e). Such theoretical propositions find empirical support in the current study, as evidenced by participants' deliberate references to emotional \"healing\" (Participant 11) and the utilization of the metaphor of \"therapy\" (Participant 10) to articulate their perceived functions of emotion regulation when disclosing their memories of guilt to their parents, both mother and fathers.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P3)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;Makes me feel released and boosts my mood. Whenever I recount things that make me sad or uncomfortable to my mother, I become more optimistic.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P5) \u0026ldquo;\u003c/b\u003eThis helps me feel better and reduces my feelings of guilt or shame. He can appease my feelings, and his listening reassures me, making me feel relaxed.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P7)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;Sharing my negative memories with her helps me reduce my negative emotions and feel released.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P9)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I tell her about my faults and all my negative memories to improve my mood and reduce feelings of guilt.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P10)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;Sharing my faults with her is always a relief, just like therapy. Her presence regulates my mood regardless of how much I mess things up. She makes me feel confident and positive.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P11)\u003c/b\u003e \u0026ldquo;I know he can heal me and give me emotional relief.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e In the analysis of participants' interviews, a predominant emphasis on the directive and emotion-regulation functions was observed when memories of guilt were shared with parents. However, asserting the complete absence of social and self-functions within these exchanges would be oversimplified. This notion is exemplified by the eighth participant (P8), who explicitly stated, \"It is important to me to resort to my father instead of struggling with the situation alone.\" This example illustrates the nuanced nature of daily-life memory exchange analyses and the complex interplay of memory-sharing functions. The challenges encountered in analyzing these interviews resonate with Pillemer's (2003) viewpoint, which suggests that the differentiation among memory-sharing functions might appear overly theoretical, given that these functions often blend seamlessly in everyday contexts. This complexity is further underlined by the nature of autobiographical narratives, which are fundamentally linked to self-concepts (Conway \u0026amp; Pleydell-Pearce, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR16\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2000\u003c/span\u003e). Moreover, the developmental perspective on memory-sharing posits that the act of sharing memories within family settings plays a pivotal role in fostering intimate bonds between parents and children (Fivush \u0026amp; Nelson, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR20\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2004\u003c/span\u003e; Fivush \u0026amp; Reese, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR21\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e), pointing out the inherently social aspect of memory-sharing. These narratives are not only shared within a social context but also naturally serve a social function (Alea et al., 2003), reinforcing the significance of the social dimensions of memory-sharing.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec8\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003ePerceived Characteristics of the Preferred and Unpreferred listeners among parents\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003eIn the literature on listener characteristics in the context of autobiographical memory, research findings delineate two broad classifications: positive and negative listener characteristics. On the one hand, characteristics such as empathy, attentiveness, cooperativeness, and responsiveness, which positively influence narrators, are emphasized (Elmi et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR17\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2019\u003c/span\u003e; Pasupathi et al., 2009; Pasupathi et al., 2015). This dimension aligns with the conceptualization of the 'good listener' within memory-sharing interactions, as explored in previous studies (Bavelas et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR7\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2000\u003c/span\u003e; Weinstein et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR64\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2021\u003c/span\u003e). On the contrary, the literature also identifies negative listening characteristics, including unresponsiveness, indifference, and distractibility, which negatively affect the narrator's well-being (Fioretti et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR18\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2017\u003c/span\u003e; Weinstein et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR64\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2021\u003c/span\u003e; Pasupathi et al., 2015). However, the current study aimed to elucidate the characteristics of both preferred and unpreferred listeners from the narrators' perception within a specific context of memory-sharing. Specifically, the focus is on the narrator's perceived listener characteristics that either facilitate or inhibit the disclosure of emotionally negative memories, with the narrator assuming the role of the perpetrator. This research positions adolescent children as narrators and their parents as listeners, with a particular interest in exploring potential gender differences between mothers and fathers as perceived by their children.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e The findings suggested that the perceived characteristics of preferred and unpreferred listeners are gender-specific, indicating that participants discerned different characteristics as preferred or unpreferred based on their parent's gender. Specifically, when adolescents designate their mothers as the preferred listeners, they commonly attribute their preference to two primary reasons for their mothers' listening behaviors: availability and empathy. Conversely, when fathers are designated as the preferred listeners, the reasons defining this preference, as perceived by their adolescent children, are divided into two distinct categories: good listening skills and the provision of logical advice. Furthermore, when addressing the characteristics that diminish the preference for a parent as a confidante, the research findings reveal a divergence based on the parent in question. Specifically, when fathers are identified as the unpreferred listeners, the adolescents' accounts converge on two predominant reasons: a lack of availability and a tendency for harsh criticism. Conversely, the characteristics that diminish the preference for mothers as listeners, as derived from the research interviews, are primarily classified into bad listening skills and a tendency towards dramatization (see Table\u0026nbsp;\u003cspan refid=\"Tab2\" class=\"InternalRef\"\u003e2\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cdiv class=\"gridtable\"\u003e\u003ctable float=\"Yes\" id=\"Tab2\" border=\"1\"\u003e \u003ccaption language=\"En\"\u003e \u003cdiv class=\"CaptionNumber\"\u003eTable 2\u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv class=\"CaptionContent\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eTurkish adolescents\u0026rsquo; perceived characteristics of preferred vs. unpreferred listeners among their mothers and fathers\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003c/caption\u003e \u003ccolgroup cols=\"3\"\u003e \u003cdiv align=\"left\" class=\"colspec\" colname=\"c1\" colnum=\"1\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv align=\"left\" class=\"colspec\" colname=\"c2\" colnum=\"2\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv align=\"left\" class=\"colspec\" colname=\"c3\" colnum=\"3\"\u003e\u003c/div\u003e \u003cthead\u003e \u003ctr\u003e \u003cth align=\"left\" colname=\"c1\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eParents\u0026rsquo; gender as listeners\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/th\u003e \u003cth align=\"left\" colname=\"c2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003ePerceived characteristics of the preferred listener\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/th\u003e \u003cth align=\"left\" colname=\"c3\"\u003e \u003cp\u003ePerceived characteristics of the unpreferred listener\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/th\u003e \u003c/tr\u003e \u003c/thead\u003e \u003ctbody\u003e \u003ctr\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c1\" morerows=\"1\" rowspan=\"2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eFather\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eGood listening skills\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c3\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eUnavailability\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003c/tr\u003e \u003ctr\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eLogical advice\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c3\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eHarsh criticism\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003c/tr\u003e \u003ctr\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c1\" morerows=\"1\" rowspan=\"2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eMother\u003c/b\u003e\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eAvailability\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c3\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eBad listening skills\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003c/tr\u003e \u003ctr\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c2\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eEmpathy\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003ctd align=\"left\" colname=\"c3\"\u003e \u003cp\u003eDramatisation\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/td\u003e \u003c/tr\u003e \u003c/tbody\u003e \u003c/colgroup\u003e \u003c/table\u003e\u003c/div\u003e \u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePerceived characteristics of the preferred listener between Turkish mothers and fathers\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeveral narrators among the Turkish adolescent participants have indicated a tendency to share their memories of guilt with their mothers. This preference is attributed to perceived mothers' availability and empathy. The inclination towards mothers as confidantes due to their empathetic nature finds resonance in existing literature, underscoring the significant impact of empathetic listening on autobiographical narration (Saugimori et al., 2020). Furthermore, this preference for mothers over fathers as empathetic listeners reinforces previously documented views on comparative empathy (Baez et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR3\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2017\u003c/span\u003e), compassion (Salazar, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR54\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2016\u003c/span\u003e), and affective recognition skills (Baron-Cohen et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR5\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2015\u003c/span\u003e) attributed to women over men. In other words, various theories provide insights into comprehending the discerned empathy in mothers' listening in this research. For instance, evolutionary models posit that differences in reproductive investment have led to sex-selective pressures, resulting in sex-specific social behaviors. This includes a heightened propensity among women for emotional expression and comprehension (Geary, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR22\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e), which may elucidate the empathy observed in mothers rather than fathers. Additionally, these findings align with gender socialization models, which suggest that cultural norms regarding gender roles shape expectations and behaviors differently for men and women (Thomas et al., 2008), possibly explaining why children perceive mothers as more empathetic but also more available than fathers.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eIndeed, our study highlighted participants' preference for sharing experiences with mothers, linked to the perceived availability of mothers. This perception aligns with Turkey's societal and familial expectations, which traditionally assign primary childcare responsibilities to mothers, irrespective of their employment status, educational level, or economic contribution (Gedik, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e; Ozdal et al., 2005). Moreover, although the results show that fathers have efficient listening skills, mothers are perceived as more available listeners to their children. Consistent with this hypothesis, Parker and Wang (\u003cspan citationid=\"CR40\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2013\u003c/span\u003e) demonstrated that despite the slight change in fathers\u0026rsquo; engagements with their children, today, mothers still spend twice as much time dealing with their children as do fathers.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eInterestingly, the perceived listening competencies of fathers among Turkish participants have also been pointed out, suggesting an area for further exploration (Zaneti \u0026amp; Boyacioglu, under review). This perception might be illuminated by research into brain imaging, which demonstrates gender differences in listening and conversational engagement. This research posits that while women may be more attuned to the emotional aspects, men often focus on factual content, potentially contributing to the perception of men as more effective listeners in certain contexts (Phillips et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR46\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2001\u003c/span\u003e; Booth-Butterfield, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR9\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1984\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e In concordance with the significance of adept listening skills, the participants articulated a preference for their fathers' listening, attributing this preference to their logical guidance. This finding aligns with Gray's (1992) insights on gender disparities in communication, where he delineates distinct communication preferences among genders, suggesting that males predominantly exhibit a results-oriented communication style. In contrast, females tend to focus on fostering relational connections. This phenomenon was pointed out by participant testimonials, revealing a tendency among fathers to guide their children directly towards problem-solving, avoiding unnecessary vain conversations (see P11). Participant 11 provided an illustrative account of his preference for discussing issues with his father, emphasizing the logical advice he receives compared to his interactions with his mother, where he perceives a lack of logical reasoning. This distinction points to the nuanced differences in communication practices observed between fathers and mothers, as noted by the participants in the present study.\u003c/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMothers: Availability\u003c/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P3) \u0026ldquo;\u003c/b\u003eHonestly, I find it more like a habit. This is what we are used to. We all resort to my mother to share our daily stories. And she is always available. I always find her present for me. She always finds time to listen to me. Even though she has many responsibilities, she always shows that she is here to listen to me.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec11\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eMothers: Empathy\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P7) \u0026ldquo;\u003c/b\u003eRegardless of my position as perpetrator or victim, I always prefer to share all my negative stories with my mother because I feel and see her empathy. When she listens to me, I feel she puts herself in my place, making me feel that she actually understands my position better than anyone else which is why she never made me feel that I am under judgments.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec12\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eFathers: Good listening skills\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P5 ) \u0026ldquo;\u003c/b\u003eHonestly, I prefer to share these memories with my father, especially when I recognize I am the perpetrator of the mistake. My father listens more carefully to me and reacts appropriately. He listens attentively without interrupting me and shares his point of view openly. I feel that he respects such experiences. He sits committedly and focuses on every detail I say.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec13\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eFathers: Logical advice\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P11) \u0026ldquo;\u003c/b\u003eI generally prefer to share my negative experiences with my father because he listens with lots of logic, does not waste time exacerbating the situation more than it actually is, and focuses on efficient and logical ways to fix it without wasting time. He always starts with, All right, now things have already happened, and we can never change the past; however, we can fix the future, right? You should focus on how to fix things rather than getting lost in negative feelings.\u0026rsquo; This sentence orients me towards logical and realistic directions. I do not perceive those specific characteristics in my mother\u0026rsquo;s listening, so my father\u0026rsquo;s way of listening to me fits me better.\u0026rdquo;\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec14\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003ePerceived characteristics of the unpreferred listener between Turkish mothers and fathers\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e Several participants expressed reluctance to confide in their mothers due to perceived bad listening skills and susceptibility to dramatizing the shared experiences. Meanwhile, other participants expressed their inhibition to share their memories with their fathers, attributing this to the fathers' unavailability and propensity for harsh criticism (see Table\u0026nbsp;\u003cspan refid=\"Tab2\" class=\"InternalRef\"\u003e2\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eFurthermore, beyond the comparison of perceived listening skills between mothers and fathers and the contrast between mothers' availability and fathers' greater likelihood of being unavailable, as previously discussed, it has been noted that participants prefer not to share memories with their mothers due to a likelihood for dramatization. This rationale alligns with findings from a metacognition study by Pintrich and De Groot (\u003cspan citationid=\"CR50\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1990\u003c/span\u003e), which determined that female participants experienced higher levels of anxiety compared to male participants. Correspondingly, evidence from the literature underscores the predominance of women, compared to men, in experiencing negative emotions within the context of autobiographical memory exchanges (e.g., Boyacioglu et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR11\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2016\u003c/span\u003e; Fivush \u0026amp; Grysman, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR19\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2022\u003c/span\u003e; Latu, Schmid Mast, \u0026amp; Kaiser, 2013). The tendency of mothers, as listeners, to amplify the negativity of their children's negative experiences may be elucidated through a biological framework, which posits that gender differences in emotional expression are fundamentally anchored in inherent biological disparities. Specifically, hormonal differences are posited as reasons for which, for example, women exhibit a higher frequency of crying and a more intense expression of fear in response to perceived threats compared to men (Gordon \u0026amp; Riger, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR24\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1991\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eMoreover, the preference expressed by some participants for their mothers' listening instead of their fathers, due to the perceived harsh criticism of Turkish fathers, correlates with findings from sociological studies in Turkey. These studies underline societal stereotypes that shape family dynamics within Turkish culture, portraying fathers as more authoritarian, stricter, and more likely to enforce oppressive discipline in their relationships with their children compared to mothers (e.g., Gedik, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e; Sancar, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR55\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2009\u003c/span\u003e; Yorukoglu, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR65\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1992\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec15\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eMothers: Bad listening skills\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P5)\u003c/b\u003e \"I don't prefer to share my emotionally important experiences with my mother because her way of listening exacerbates my negative situation. While I am sad and narrating serious things, she always seems distracted with washing dishes or decides to look after my little brother at that right moment. Besides, I don't find her an attentive listener; she is always distracted by other things. I also get mad when she doesn't allow me to elaborate on my ideas. She is always likely to interrupt and jump to conclusions, which gives me the impression that she is always in a hurry and doesn't take me seriously\".\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec16\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eMothers: Dramatisation\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P1)\u003c/b\u003e \"I never prefer to share my negative experiences with my mother, especially when I am mistaken; she overreacts, making me feel worse. I feel like she dramatizes everything and exaggerates when perceiving negativity over positivity. She always struggles with her own life's negative conditions. I avoid adding more negativity to her\".\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec17\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eFathers: Unavailability\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P6)\u003c/b\u003e \"Regardless of the experience, positive or negative, I never resort to my father to share with him because he is never there for us. He is always outside or busy with something else. Whenever he is home, he is occupied with television, his phone, or work on his laptop\".\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e \u003cdiv id=\"Sec18\" class=\"Section2\"\u003e \u003ch2\u003eFathers: Harsh criticism\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e(P7)\u003c/b\u003e \"I don't prefer to share my experiences, especially those in which I am somehow mistaken, with my father because I know well how harsh he can seem with his hurtful words. He doesn't focus on the events of the story but directly attributes criticisms to me that never helps but makes me feel worse\".\u003c/p\u003e \u003c/div\u003e"},{"header":"Conclusion","content":"\u003cp\u003eThe present qualitative study sought to explore perceived memory-sharing functions and perceived characteristics of preferred or unpreferred listeners between Turkish adolescents and their parents, assigning the roles of listener to parents and narrator to children. The research focused on specific autobiographical memory-sharing related to negative experiences, particularly where the narrators identified themselves as the perpetrators.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003e The results of this study indicated that the participants shared their memories of guilt with their parents for functions related to directive and emotional regulation, irrespective of the parent's gender. These findings align with existing literature that distinguishes the functions of positive and negative memories, suggesting that negative memories fulfil fewer social and self-related functions compared to positive ones (Pasupathi et al., \u003cspan citationid=\"CR44\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2002\u003c/span\u003e; Pillemer, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR48\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1998\u003c/span\u003e, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR49\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2003\u003c/span\u003e; Rasmussen et al., 2009).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eFurthermore, the data from this qualitative analysis indicated a nuanced perception of Turkish children regarding their mothers and fathers as listeners. Mothers were valued for their empathy and availability, although their potential for dramatization and poor listening skills sometimes made them less preferred. Conversely, fathers were often regarded as preferred listeners due to their effective listening skills, including providing logical advice. However, their occasional unavailability and likelihood of harsh criticism could detract from their appeal as confidants.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThis study contributes to a close understanding of intergenerational communication within Turkish families, highlighting the complex roles played by parents as listeners to their children's negative autobiographical narratives. The qualitative analysis of participant interviews offers a nuanced comprehension of the evolving dynamics within Turkish family structures undelined by recent social sciences studies (e.g., Gedik \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e; Gungormus, 2001). Notably, industrialization and urbanization since the mid-20th century have precipitated significant social modifications within these familial structures (Gedik, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e). Such transformations have notably influenced domestic relationships and parental roles, with mothers increasingly participating in the workforce and fathers becoming more involved in childcare (Gungormus, 2001). Despite the progressive shift toward more engaged fatherhood in Turkey, this trend remains relatively nascent and is limited in scope (Tol \u0026amp; Taskan, 2018; Gedik, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e). Consequently, although Turkish fathers are moving away from their traditional role as the sole financial provider and engaging more with child-rearing responsibilities, mothers maintain their status as the primary caregivers (Gedik, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThis study's findings further elucidate this evolving dynamic, emphasizing fathers' improved listening skills and ability to offer logical advice. However, they underscore fathers' continued unavailability and the likelihood of harsh criticism. Such observations suggest that Turkish fathers may be navigating a complex transition from traditional to contemporary paternal roles (Gedik, \u003cspan citationid=\"CR23\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2020\u003c/span\u003e), balancing better communicative attributes with prevailing limitations in availability and empathy. Conversely, findings may prove that new motherhood, characterized by a dual focus on professional commitments and domestic responsibilities, impacts mothers' attentiveness and availability as listeners to their children. Participant feedback, particularly from P5, indicate this tension, noting instances where negative emotional disclosures were met with distraction, lack of attention and preemptive conclusions by their mothers, thereby reflecting a broader struggle to balance traditional caregiving expectations with modern societal demands in contemporary mothers, similar to Gedik's (2020) conclusions regarding Turkish fathers' struggle between 'the new fatherhood' and 'the traditional fatherhood' codes.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eIn sum, the current examination of Turkish family dynamics reveals a significant transitional phase, where traditional parental roles are being redefined amidst broader societal shifts. Although the pace of cultural and societal change is rapid, the behaviors and perceptions of individuals within these family structures exhibit a slower adaptation process, as articulated by LaRossa (\u003cspan citationid=\"CR34\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e1988\u003c/span\u003e).\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eExploring expectations and anticipated functions associated with sharing autobiographical memory, particularly within the familial context, is paramount as it illuminates unexplored areas within international and Turkish literature by arguing for a holistic approach, specifically ecological, to studying autobiographical memory-sharing. Such an approach should encompass the entire conversational context, with a special emphasis on the role of the listener.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eThough qualitative research is limited in generalizability due to the typically small sample sizes, it offers in-depth insights into the queried phenomena. This is particularly true when addressing complex dynamics present in everyday life, where quantitative methodologies may introduce biases. Additionally, there is a gap in the literature regarding the perception of listening characteristics in daily memory-sharing scenarios, signifying a critical area for future research endeavors. Quantitative research, while valuable, faces challenges in these specific contexts due to the comprehensive data required for generalization. Qualitative methodologies, therefore, are considered more suitable for studying such nuanced subjects. This is supported by Pasupathi and Billitteri (\u003cspan citationid=\"CR42\" class=\"CitationRef\"\u003e2015\u003c/span\u003e), who posited the importance of focusing on the listener within the context of autobiographical memory research.\u003c/p\u003e \u003cp\u003eIn conclusion, our study serves as a preliminary effort to elucidate the perceived functions of memory-sharing and listener characteristics within familial settings in Turkey. Although our findings offer rich exploratory data on the dynamics between adolescent children and their parents, subsequent studies could expand this research to include children at various life stages and ages. Moreover, this study was limited to negative memories where narrators identified as perpetrators, suggesting that future research could also consider narratives where individuals recount experiences from a victim's standpoint. Our investigation contributes to the existing body of knowledge and lays the groundwork for future quantitative studies by providing a range of concepts and categories ripe for systematic exploration. This is particularly pertinent to family context, requiring more exploration in autobiographical memory-sharing literature.\u003c/p\u003e"},{"header":"Declarations","content":"\u003ch2\u003eFunding:\u003c/h2\u003e \u003cp\u003eThe authors declare they had no funding support during the research.\u003c/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eAuthor Contribution\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eS.Z. contributed to the data collection, participants interviews, overall writing, and proofreading of the manuscript. I.B. supervised the study and contributed to the design and interpretation of the qualitative data. Both authors reviewed and approved the final version of the paper.\u003c/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eAcknowledgement\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis study is part of the first author\u0026rsquo;s doctoral thesis research at Dokuz Eylul University\u0026rsquo;s Social Psychology Program, from which they graduated in July 2025. Dokuz Eylul University\u0026rsquo;s Ethics Committee is acknowledged for confirming this study\u0026rsquo;s compliance with ethical standards.\u003c/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eData Availability\u003c/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe data supporting the findings of this study are not publicly available due to privacy and ethical restrictions but may be available from the corresponding author upon reasonable request and with appropriate ethical approval.\u003c/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAuthors have no known conflict of interest to disclose.\u003c/p\u003e"},{"header":"References","content":"\u003col\u003e\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAlea, N., \u0026amp; Bluck, S. (2003). 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Manuscript under review.\u003c/span\u003e\u003c/li\u003e\u003c/ol\u003e"},{"header":"Table 1","content":"\u003cp\u003eTable 1 is available in the Supplementary Files section.\u003c/p\u003e\n"}],"fulltextSource":"","fullText":"","funders":[],"hasAdminPriorityOnWorkflow":false,"hasManuscriptDocX":true,"hasOptedInToPreprint":true,"hasPassedJournalQc":"","hasAnyPriority":false,"hideJournal":false,"highlight":"","institution":"","isAcceptedByJournal":true,"isAuthorSuppliedPdf":false,"isDeskRejected":"","isHiddenFromSearch":false,"isInQc":false,"isInWorkflow":false,"isPdf":false,"isPdfUpToDate":true,"isWithdrawnOrRetracted":false,"journal":{"display":true,"email":"[email protected]","identity":"human-arenas","isNatureJournal":false,"hasQc":true,"allowDirectSubmit":false,"externalIdentity":"huar","sideBox":"Learn more about [Human Arenas](http://link.springer.com/journal/42087)","snPcode":"42087","submissionUrl":"https://submission.nature.com/new-submission/42087/3","title":"Human Arenas","twitterHandle":"","acdcEnabled":true,"dfaEnabled":true,"editorialSystem":"em","reportingPortfolio":"Springer Hybrid","inReviewEnabled":true,"inReviewRevisionsEnabled":false},"keywords":"autobiographical memory-sharing functions, perceived listener characteristics, memories of guilt, perpetrator, Turkish parents, Turkish adolescents","lastPublishedDoi":"10.21203/rs.3.rs-9146933/v1","lastPublishedDoiUrl":"https://doi.org/10.21203/rs.3.rs-9146933/v1","license":{"name":"CC BY 4.0","url":"https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/"},"manuscriptAbstract":"\u003cp\u003eThis paper aimed to fill a gap in the literature on autobiographical memory-sharing and family narrative. It explores the functions of memory-sharing and the perceived characteristics of preferred/unpreferred listeners. The study designated parents as listeners and children as narrators, focusing on sharing negative memories of guilt. The method involved semi-structured interviews, analyzed using Braun and Clarke\u0026rsquo;s thematic analysis, with 11 Turkish male and female participants. Regardless of parents\u0026rsquo; gender, participants identified directive and emotion regulation as the primary functions of memory sharing. When adolescents selected their mothers as preferred listeners, the characteristics of availability and empathy were mainly reported. In contrast, fathers were preferred as listeners for their good listening skills and logical advice. Fathers may be less preferred as listeners, mainly due to their unavailability and a tendency towards harsh criticism. Meanwhile, mothers were deemed unpreferred listeners due to poor listening skills and a tendency towards dramatization.\u003c/p\u003e","manuscriptTitle":"A Qualitative Investigation of Adolescents’ Perceptions of Sharing Guilt Memories with Their Parents","msid":"","msnumber":"","nonDraftVersions":[{"code":1,"date":"2026-03-26 09:18:05","doi":"10.21203/rs.3.rs-9146933/v1","editorialEvents":[{"type":"communityComments","content":0},{"type":"editorInvitedReview","content":"","date":"2026-04-10T23:29:36+00:00","index":"hide","fulltext":""},{"type":"reviewerAgreed","content":"247884276376390040610746302324052285693","date":"2026-03-26T19:22:23+00:00","index":"hide","fulltext":""},{"type":"reviewersInvited","content":"","date":"2026-03-24T17:55:59+00:00","index":"","fulltext":""},{"type":"editorAssigned","content":"","date":"2026-03-24T17:52:41+00:00","index":"","fulltext":""},{"type":"checksComplete","content":"","date":"2026-03-21T13:38:06+00:00","index":"","fulltext":""},{"type":"submitted","content":"Human Arenas","date":"2026-03-17T09:23:45+00:00","index":"","fulltext":""}],"status":"published","journal":{"display":true,"email":"[email protected]","identity":"human-arenas","isNatureJournal":false,"hasQc":true,"allowDirectSubmit":false,"externalIdentity":"huar","sideBox":"Learn more about [Human Arenas](http://link.springer.com/journal/42087)","snPcode":"42087","submissionUrl":"https://submission.nature.com/new-submission/42087/3","title":"Human Arenas","twitterHandle":"","acdcEnabled":true,"dfaEnabled":true,"editorialSystem":"em","reportingPortfolio":"Springer Hybrid","inReviewEnabled":true,"inReviewRevisionsEnabled":false}}],"origin":"","ownerIdentity":"fc2e05c7-d00d-4acf-98e5-655c681dcdbb","owner":[],"postedDate":"March 26th, 2026","published":true,"recentEditorialEvents":[],"rejectedJournal":[],"revision":"","amendment":"","status":"under-review","subjectAreas":[],"tags":[],"updatedAt":"2026-04-22T12:56:32+00:00","versionOfRecord":[],"versionCreatedAt":"2026-03-26 09:18:05","video":"","vorDoi":"","vorDoiUrl":"","workflowStages":[]},"version":"v1","identity":"rs-9146933","journalConfig":"researchsquare"},"__N_SSP":true},"page":"/article/[identity]/[[...version]]","query":{"redirect":"/article/rs-9146933","identity":"rs-9146933","version":["v1"]},"buildId":"XKTyCvWXoU3ODBz1xrDgd","isFallback":false,"isExperimentalCompile":false,"dynamicIds":[84888],"gssp":true,"scriptLoader":[]}