The Interdependence of Emotion Regulation in Romantic Couples: A Longitudinal Dyadic Analysis of Six Strategies

Romantic partners’ emotions are interdependent, yet it remains unclear whether their emotion regulation behaviours also influence each other over time. This study investigated bidirectional associations between intrinsic emotion regulation (regulating one’s own emotions) and extrinsic emotion regulation (regulating a partner’s emotions) in 387 heterosexual couples assessed across seven waves over two years from August 2021 to August 2023 (1,699 observations). At each wave, both partners reported their use of six pairs of intrinsic-extrinsic strategies: expressive suppression, humor, reappraisal, distraction, direct action, and sharing. Couples showed limited temporal influence on each other (within-dyad effects), but robust trait level associations of intrinsic and extrinsic regulation (between-dyad effects). Individuals tended to use similar strategies to regulate their own and their partner’s emotions. Partner effects varied by strategy: Men who used more humor to regulate their emotions received less humor from women whereas men who used more distraction to regulate their emotions received more distraction from women. Direct action and sharing showed bidirectional partner effects. Men’s use of direct action to regulate their emotions predicted (and was predicted by) less direct action received from women. Men’s use of sharing to regulate their own emotions predicted (and was predicted by) more sharing received from women. Overall, our findings support that emotion regulation in romantic relationships is inherently interpersonal, with interdependence operating primarily through stable trait-level patterns rather than temporal influences. Generalizability is limited by the relatively homogeneous sample (predominantly Caucasian, English-speaking, and highly educated).